Ladies Only- 5 things you should never tell your partner's Mom

Mother-in-laws can be unbearable but you, as the wife of her son should try not to tell her the meanest things like...

It's preferable to be respectful to the woman who raised your man but you should also find a way of limiting her influence in your home.

Having your mother-in-law active in your husband's life can sometimes be a big problem. Some women have admitted to me that they wished their partner's moms were dead. Others even say they wouldn't want to marry a guy whose mother is still alive. It's almost like, the fear of your mother-in-law is the beginning of wisdom. But whatever the case may be, she's alive and involved in your marriage. So, to keep things sane and happy, here are five things you should never say to your mother-in-law.

1.) "Don't ever come to my house again":

Most mother-in-laws hate these words with passion. They hate when the wives give them ultimatum not to see their sons whenever they want to. They feel it's their right to know everything about their sons' lives but don't want you to have same right.

2.) "You are a bad mother":

No mother wants to be labelled as a bad mom, not even yourself. Yes, she could be problematic but does that make her a bad mother? The truth is she raised the "good" guy you are now dating or married to. She'll think you are rude, ungrateful and disrespectful. This could be detrimental to your relationship.

3.) "Stay away from my husband":

These words will hurt any mother. Your husband is her son no matter how you want to look at it. So show the woman some respect already! Some mothers are mean, even to their own children but don't be the one to tell her that. Let her son do it. She's been in her son's life like forever so asking her to stay away from the man she raised is unreasonable.

4.) "You didn't raise your son any better":

Any mother hates when her ability to be a good mother is called to question by anyone especially her daughter-in-law. She knows how she raised her boy, and if the son isn’t complaining, you shouldn't!

5.) "You're a witch":

This is very offensive to African mothers. To prove someone is involved in witchcraft is almost impossible except you are a strong man of God or involved in Spiritism. if you are not into any of these, then you may have no right to call someone - certainly not your mother-in-law - a witch. Instead, go down on your knees and pray!

ADVISE: Allow your husband or boyfriend handle his mother if she's becoming too unbearable

Becoming The Best Wedding Planner

7 tips on how to be the best

 Planning a wedding takes time and every planning is stressful. so what does it take to be the best wedding planner? Here are tips below

Wedding planners are slowly but surely becoming popular in the Nigerian wedding culture as well as to the rest of the world. Their relevance has also become the focal point to almost every big or small wedding. Without them, a wedding could go totally wrong leaving the bride, groom or hosts embarrassed and ashamed.
Planning a wedding takes time and every planning is stressful. However, wedding planning doesn't come without so much fun. So here are ways to become a great wedding planner.

 

1.) You need to have a passion

Having a strong or deep passion for organizing events and most especially weddings, begins your journey to becoming a great wedding planner. Seyi Olusanya, CEO of Once Upon a Destination, says "you need to love putting an event in order… making sure resources and time are managed properly to suit a concept and a venue." A wedding planner loves to make things happen, give people a great time with the resources s/he has.

2.) You should have a taste for style

A wedding planner is supposed to know and understand the use of style, designs and colors. Putting a wedding together entails good coloring and lighting. What color should be used for the internal décor of the hall, what color of cutleries, table clothes, balloons etc?  How would the invitation cards look like? 

3.) You should be keen to details

Every wedding planner has to pay attention to details. Taking care of the little things such as the guest list,  weather report, feeding the DJ etc are very important to making a great wedding. Make sure time is respected to the teeth, food is brought on time, time for event is repeatedly announced, checking with the bride is constant and so on. Failing to notice the little insignificant things could ruin an entire wedding.

4.) You need to be patient/ enduring

A wedding planner has to be professional at all times. Your job is not over until the wedding ends. You are not supposed to get angry at your client or yell at any family member during the wedding or reception. Keep your cool, relax, put a smile on your face and be happy to serve. "I never go off at my client," says Christina Holt, founder of Wedding Concepts, South Africa. "It's important to stay calm and focus on the job. Getting angry will only ruin your countenance, make you snap for stupid things and be unprofessional. It could ruin your relationship with the client forever."

5.) You need to have the desire to make people happy

Organizing a wedding is never an easy job and managing people is even harder but every wedding planner needs to be super patient with an objective to just make people - both the couple and guests - happy throughout the event. "I have always loved to make people happy and that’s one attribute to my success," Seyi explained. "If you can make people around you happy, your organization becomes easier because other will love to give you a hand."

6.) You have to be a team player

There are no "I can do it all" rule to being a great wedding planner. Every planner needs a team to work with. These are people you trust. They are people you know have the expertise to handle certain things you can't handle. No one is an island, as planner, you need to know how and when to ask for help. There's nothing wrong in having extra hands on a job.

7.) Perfect time manager

To be a great wedding planner, you need to be the best time manager. Being an organized person is one thing vital but you also need to be great at knowing how to be prompt while being efficient and under pressure.

 

 

"How do I get rid of pimples?"

At some point in life most people usually experience one or a combination of breakouts, pimples, blemish or acne. It’s painful, sometimes itchy and surely hard to cover with makeup! Worst of all it leaves that dreaded blackhead when it finally goes down. Ok let’s put the facts in place before we discuss the solution.

What are the causes?

In very simple terms, it happens when your pores (tiny holes in your skin) gets blocked. Some people like to blame it on the following factors;

-Stress

- Change of environment

- Allergic reaction to a particular product

- Diet

- Hormonal changes

We like to blame it on a buildup of bacteria as a result of some simple things we do or forget to do.

What am I doing wrong?

1. Popping your pimples: the only time you need to touch your face is during your skin care routine or applying makeup (with clean fingers) any other time is compounding the problems as the bacteria will spread and make it worse.
2. Using facial cleansing Brushes: they are great to use especially to help open up your pores, however if you have pimples your skin is inflamed, any vigorous scrubbing will irritate the inflammation and won’t make it any better.
3. Using too many products at a time: it takes the skin about 4weeks to rejuvenate. Be patient with your skincare. Using too many products that do the same thing makes it difficult for you to know which one actually works for your skin type.
4. Using harsh creams: products that promise to whiten or lighten your skin will probably do so initially but in the long run, damage your skin in more ways than you can imagine.

How can I make it better?

1. Be gentle with your face, at this time try not to scrub your face till the inflammation settles. In the meantime make sure you are consistent with your routine; cleanse and moisturize your skin twice a day
2. Always take off your makeup with makeup removers or simple wipes before you begin your routine. Washing your face alone is not enough because your skin absorbs whatever you on it; so it is very important to ensure that all the dirt is completely taken off.
3. Cleansing is a very important process in your routine as it takes off any excess makeup or dirt that may be left and opens up your pores for your moisturizer.
4. There is no such thing as over moisturizing. Your skin needs moisture to stay hydrated and glow. You need to replace the lost moisture from the cleansing and washing. Always remember to choose moisturizers according to your skin type.
5. The skin on your face is more sensitive than the rest of your body and deserves special care. Try using a different towel especially for your face other than your bath towel.
6. Bacteria easily spreads and so it is important to change/wash your pillow covers very often to avoid a buildup of dirt and bacteria which could be spread to your face.
7. Check your diet, you may want to stay off sugar and groundnut oil for good. Try choosing healthier options like honey, extra virgin olive oil or canola oils for your cooking

What products should I be using?

Whatever product you decide to choose; whether its store bought or homemade always have the following in mind:

1. What works for someone else may not necessarily work for you. The key is choosing a product that works for your skin type.
2. If your skin is oily and more prone to blemish or acne, always look out for oil free ingredients rather than those that are for “all skin types”.
3. When choosing makeup always look for products that are “non-comedogenic” which means they won’t clog your pores.
4. The importance of drinking at least 8 glasses of water a day cannot be overemphasized. Its keeps your skin hydrated and gives you a natural glow.
5. Never leave the house without sunscreen. You need to protect your skin form the harsh rays of the sun; which usually causes sun burns, uneven skin tone, and dullness amongst other things.
6. Eating lots of fruits and vegetables go a long way in improving the quality of your skin. Ok guys, so we have touched on a little bit of hygiene which will be the starting point for getting rid of these horrid skin concerns. Next week, we look at some ingredients that you probably have in your kitchen cupboards that are amazing for your skin. Till then... remember: flawless makeup starts with a healthy skin!

Content brought to you by Log Cosmetics. www.logcosmetics.com

Wellness Tips: 5 tips to stay healthy no matter how busy your day gets

Even of you a busy professional with little or no time to exercise or stay in shape, these tips work perfectly to help you stay healthy.
Staying healthy requires constant attention to one's overall state, from eating the right type of food, exercising and more but then work gets in the way of staying in shape making it an unfruitful effort?
Professionals/busy executives are busy at every time of the day as all their time count making it difficult to squeeze in other things including dedicating time to exercise, visits to the gym and more

If you don't have the luxury of time- understandably so- there are five ways to still stay healthy from day to day, check these handy tips:

1. Never skip breakfast

Breakfast should be eaten like a king as this fuels the body for the most productive and better part of the day.
Breakfast jump starts the body to take on the day. Studies reveal skipping breakfast can increase obesity and diabetes risks and cause morning moodiness.
2. Hydrate
Drink at least eight glasses of water everyday. Water works to keep the body hydrated as well as flush out toxins.

3. Don't work and eat at the same time

Dedicate a time to eat and that alone. Don't try to eat and work at the same time but take a few minutes during the day to eat, breathe deep and generally relax because it refreshes the entire body.
4. Reduce alcohol intake
Alcohol does more harm than good to the body (the organs) as well as the skin. If you must take alcohol reduce it to the barest minimum to stay healthy.
5. Eat quality food always: Surviving on fast foods/ cheap alternatives will eventually wreak havoc on the body. Eat quality food, avoid quantity over quality when it comes to the food to feed on especially at work

Personal relationships: 5 things you shouldn't worry about anymore

To live life to the fullest, your primary focus should be on wellness, on getting better and continuing to learn how to cope with any situation

To live life to the fullest, your primary focus should be on wellness, on getting better and continuing to learn how to cope with any situation, how to find joy and gratitude in your life, in the people who surround you.

Here are 5 things  people should stop worrying about:

1. My Love Life: Perhaps it seems a little silly to have this on the list. After all, I have a lot going on right now. Deciding whether or not to swipe right or left should perhaps be the last thing on my mind. But, my headache experience has been incredibly isolating at times, and this loneliness does get to me. I crave connection and contact in the midst of all of this. Beyond that, I don't feel particularly good about myself, my health and appearance. My lack of energy and forced inactivity has taken it's toll on my confidence and I worry about what this means for my ability to eventually find someone. My life is a lot for anyone to commit to take on right now. Maybe it's too much even to ask someone to consider. I worry that I am going to lose out on my chance to be in love in that singular, most intimate way. As I watch my friends get married and have babies, I worry that this is just not something in the cards for me. And, I want it. I want it all. I want to love and share my life with someone. But I also need to get well and be comfortable with my situation, who I am and what I am going through. I need this for me and I need this to be a partner to someone else. So, instead of worrying about a future of cats and bachelorhood, I will focus on being my best self and loving who and what I already have to the best of my ability. And, I will trust that the rest of it will come.
2. Keeping Up With My Peers: It's difficult not to feel a little insecure about my life right now. I am not financially stable. I do not have the independence I long for, that so many people my age are finally enjoying now that the economy has begun to shift and jobs are becoming available. It's hard not to look at others' success and worry about my own missteps. But I cannot measure my own success against that of my peers. I have to honor the setbacks. My health has undoubtedly taken a toll on what I thought I would have accomplished by now. But it's more than that. I have shifted the focus of my life, my career, numerous times, and am only just settling into what I really want to do. I can't worry about how all of this stacks up against everyone else. I have to measure my triumphs in a way that does not minimize them, but instead celebrates what I have been able to do. Just me. Life is not a competition and I am not running a race. I need to focus on being who I want to be and not let the rest of it matter so very much.
3. What Other People Think of My Situation: I wish it didn't matter how other people view me and my situation, but it does. I want people to understand and respect what I am going through. There are a few reasons for this. First, I worry that people don't believe me, or at least don't really appreciate how difficult things are for me on a daily basis. I worry that people think I am a life failure, that I've just gotten lazy or I don't try hard enough to overcome the obstacles my chronic pain sets forth. I guess I just worry that people are disappointed in me. Sometimes, I worry it's the people I love the most who might feel this way. This fear can be incapacitating. On the other hand, I want people to understand what I am going through because I crave the validation. I want people to pat me on the back and say "you are strong" or "you are brave" because sometimes I don't feel like either of those things and it's nice to hear someone say it. Sometimes I worry if they don't say it, they don't believe it, and it's not true. But I can't worry about any of that. It's not anybody else's responsibility to validate my situation. I know what I experience, I live it every day, and as much as I want others to understand it, they aren't me. I also can't forget that it's a lot to ask, for people to live in my struggle with me. As much as it takes out of me, it takes out of them too. I can't worry that people don't know exactly what I'm going through, when they show me every day that they love me and support me. That is enough.
4. The Life I Thought I Would Have: I just turned 27. I thought I would have more books published, or at least be a bit farther along in the publishing process by now. I thought I'd have gotten a substantial start on my next big project. I thought my career would be well under way. And, in some ways, it is. I have an agent, I am settling into new projects, both fiction and non-fiction, and I am working to build my own business and portfolio, put my sills to use and get paid for it. But none of this is happening at the pace I want. And, I worry that it's not enough, that I haven't gotten far enough, that the goals I have set myself are out of reach. This is unfair. I am working hard, and I have accomplished things. Yes, sometimes I have to take naps, and sometimes I go for days at a time where I can't work, where I can't even look at a computer screen, but that doesn't mean that I have given up. I push forward every day. I find ways to make it all work. I have to stop worrying about where I thought I'd be, and see the progress in where I've gotten.
5. The Future: It's impossible not to worry about the future. You don't have to have a chronic illness to know this is the case. And, there is some value in thinking about where you'd like to be in a few years. It's how we set goals, challenge ourselves, make changes for the better. The danger comes in obsessing about a future where you just can't imagine liking what you see. That's my problem. My search for answers, a cause and treatment for my headaches, has placed great emphasis on what things will look like after I get better. Like this is just a phase and I will somehow outgrow it. And, while I think this optimism is important to the healing process, chronic pain doesn't always work that way. There might not be a cure, a fix-all. It might be a constant, continuous journey. And I can't worry about what that means. I can't worry about the fact that my headache might not ever go away completely. I can't worry about what that means for the rest of my life. I have to focus on the here and now, what I'm doing today, and every day, to not just get by but to fill my life with joy and gratitude. And more than anything, I have to let that be enough for me

Personal development: Talking to yourself actually means you are smart...here's why

If you have a presentation or interview, talking to yourself helps you practice and fine tune what you're going to say

Talking to oneself is mostly associated with schizophrenia, a mental illness but recent scientific study says it can also be a very positive and healthy behavior.

In an article from Elite Daily, the author, Gigi Engle, discusses about how talking to yourself is a sign of genius. She says, "The smartest people on earth talk to themselves. Look at the inner monologues of the greatest thinkers. Look at poetry! Look at history!"

Christine Schoenwald of YourTango lists some some scientific benefits of talking to yourself:

1. It improves performance and brain function. When you talk to yourself, it helps you to stay on task, keep focused, and improves your perception capabilities. In a study conducted by psychologists Gary Lupyan from University of Wisconsin-Madison and Daniel Swingley  from University of Pennsylvania, they found that using verbal clues helped when searching for lost objects.
2. It boost memory retention. When you talk out loud, it stimulates more sensory channels than when you subvocalize. You actually hear the sounds and you engage your emotions.
3. It helps you prepare and ultimately kill it at important meetings. If you have a presentation or interview, talking to yourself helps you practice and fine tune what you're going to say. If you practice something out loud enough, it will go smoother when you have to do it for real. Proper preparation helps to get rid of stress and anxiety, and you won't trip up over your words.
4. It motivates you. Especially if you use "you" instead of "I." Self-talk has been found to be even more effective if you use second person. Saying, "You can do it" works better than saying, "I can do it." Dr. Sanda Dolcos, a researcher at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says, "Self-advice expressed using 'You' probably enables people to adopt a broader perspective."
5. It helps your self-esteem. When you compliment and encourage yourself, you get a confidence boost. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to your best friend. Talking to yourself isn't just something that children do; it's an important tool for adults as well. So go ahead and talk to the most important person in your life: you